“There is nothing more truly artistic than to love people.”
— Vincent van Gogh —
Hello, and my very best to you and yours.
What was supposed to be a two-week break from this newsletter for vacation spiraled into three months. The biggest reason for stepping back was that in late July, a friend with kids a few years older than mine said something that I felt in my bones: “You begin to lose your kids when they’re 10 as they begin to prioritize hanging out with friends more and more.”
Being that my oldest is about to turn 11, upon hearing this, I immediately cleared everything I could from my schedule. We spent August and the first part of September bouncing around Poland, playing a lot of football, going to the beach, and hanging out in the park.
It was good. Needed. But since my kids started school last months and my client work is rolling, I’m back at it.
Here are 3 things I've been thinking about over the last few days that I'm excited to share with you.
***
on owning your pace
One of my favorite new YouTube snacks is a series from photographer Joshua Charow where he interviews the owners of the last artists' lofts in NYC. The design of the spaces is one reason to watch. So is listening to the artists talk about how the creative landscape of the city has changed since some of the tenants moved in decades ago. But like most shows, it’s the wisdom of the people Joshua speaks with that got me hooked.
Some of the painters say they live and breathe making art. They wake up, eat a little something, maybe exercise, and then spend the day with their canvases. However, others fall more in line with the approach of famed painter Ad Reinhardt —
“One paints when there is nothing left to do. After everything else is done, has been taken care of, one can take up the brush. After all the human social needs, pressures are accounted for. Only then can we be free to work.”
This resonated with me deeply. Sure, one of my trades is writing. But unlike many of my friends, I don’t wake up, dying to bang my keyboard. Writing has always been a more reflective act for me. I have to live first, then write. Any time I listen to people who scream, “Just glue your butt in a chair and fight the resistance,” I flounder. Plus, like a lot of people, I’m not at my best when I’m stressed. I need whatever is hounding me to pass.
Maybe you’re like that, too. Perhaps you work best when you clear the space, tend to life, and then return to your creative act when you have more headspace.
The longer I’m at it, the more I’ve come to not just realize, but internalize, that there is no wrong or right way to do your thing. Only your way.
Once you find your pace, own it.
Good things happen when you give your work a chance to grow at the speed of your life.
***
on doing the work
Over the spring and early summer, I helped two clients with their books. Like with many big projects, just as the end was in sight, the finishing touches took longer than expected. All the problem sections we pushed aside till later. A chapter or two that didn’t land as well as the others. All the titles and subheaders that didn’t accurately reflect the text.
There’s a lot of truth to the notion that the last 10 percent takes 90 percent of the time.
To make matters trickier, one of the clients became obsessed with AI during the process to “speed things up.” Whenever we were discussing a section—or worse, a chapter—that needed to get looked at again, he ran it through ChatGPT. “This is great!” he initially said. “Onto the next one. Problem solved!”
But when we read it again slowly, without fail, obvious holes began to reveal themselves. Lots of pretty words without any substance. After a few head-butts and wasting time trying to mold a machine, my client finally admitted that it was more effective to just do the work.
This experience reminded me of the all-important fact that, at some point, there’s no shortcut around the actual work. The thinking. The decision-making. The staring out a window and sitting with a sentence until it sings.
Tools can help. But they can’t replace the time it takes to care. And when you’re building something that matters—a book, a relationship, a business—caring is the whole point.
I don’t know much. But one thing I’m dead certain about is that when you look back over your career when you’re old and grey, your proudest moments won’t come from taking a shortcut.
They’ll come from the times you fought to get things right.
After all, it’s that grit that makes work worthwhile.
***
on bucking individualism
My friend Brian Pennie, a former heroin addict turned neuroscientist and motivational speaker, recently started a new podcast. Brian’s a fun guy. The biggest zest for life of anyone I’ve met. I like the guests he’s brought on. This is particularly true of Niall Breslin, a former professional athlete turned lead singer of the band The Blizzards, who now uses his large platform to champion mental health and the power of community.
Niall said a lot of smart things in his conversation with Brian. But what stood out was the rant he went on regarding the dangers of deep-level individualism.
Here’s Niall —
“We got some lad on TikTok telling you he’s done two days of work before 6am, he’s gone to the gym twice before 7am, and is injecting green stuff into his testicles now at 8am. And if you’re not doing this, you’re not ambitious enough….
It’s all horseshit.
I’ve had enough of it.
That’s individualism.
We’ve created this deep-level individualism — every person for themselves. But society and culture don’t work that way. Always, through evolution, we worked in communities and groups…
That’s the thing that gets me the most. I’m not an individual. Anytime I’ve gotten through any of the life stuff, I had people beside me. I wouldn’t have gotten through it without them. They created the emotional scaffolding. And I’ll be there for them too, when the time comes.
But it’s also in your community. It’s your local coffee shop. It’s your milkman. It’s your postman. It’s your GAA (Gaelic Athletic Association). All of that is so essential to your mental well-being.”
I couldn’t agree with this more. Everywhere I turn today, people are shouting variations of “I’m gonna get mine,” forgetting that helping other people to get theirs is the key to a meaningful life. Last year, I even saw a big-name creator tweet that his goal for the summer was to "accumulate power.”
Maybe that’s the simplest reminder we all need right now: life isn’t a solo sport. If you want meaning, don’t just chase your own wins. Show up for the people around you. Let them be there for you. Build the scaffolding together. Do not make stockpiling power your year-end goal.
Community isn’t a nice-to-have.
It’s the point of everything.
***
That’s it for today. I hope you have a great weekend, and until next time, own your pace, do the work, and be there for the people around you.
Onwards.
—Michael
PS: The best way to help me keep the lights on and to keep newsletters like this one free is to grab a copy of my book and leave an honest review on Amazon.
Shy by Design: 12 Timeless Principles to Quietly Stand Out
“In a world that lionizes loudness, it's actually the quiet and shy among us who are best set up to thrive. Thompson provides an important new way of understanding what it really takes to stand out!”
―Cal Newport, NYTimes bestselling author of Deep Work and Slow Productivity
It makes for a great gift for any of your shy or reserved friends, colleagues, and family members who have something to say but struggle to bet on themselves.
PS2: If you're new here and like what you read, you can cruise over all past installments by clicking the link below.
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