“My future starts when I wake up every morning.”
— Miles Davis —
Hello and my best to you and yours.
Here are three things I've been thinking about the last few days that I'm excited to share with you. (4-minute read)
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on change
I once heard that the internet is nothing but people at different life stages yelling at each other about how to live their lives. I think there's a lot of truth to that.
At the moment, there are a bunch of online writers bashing things like taking cold showers and getting up at 5 AM. I get it. If someone had suggested taking a cold shower when I was 26, I would have wanted to kick them in their frozen beans. However, today at 46, I love them. They wake me up in the morning and weirdly enough put me to sleep like a baby at night.
As for 5 AM? It's one of my favorite times of the day. I began the habit when mapping out my book as I quickly realized it demanded long stretches of silence and I haven't looked back since. While my wife and kids are sleeping, I do whatever I want. Some days I'll write. Some days I'll watch a movie that doesn't star Leroy and Stitch. On other days, like today, I'll go for a walk before sitting on a park bench for a bit to listen to some music.
Be careful what you deem dumb when you’re young.
Life has a funny way of converting you into the person you swore you’d never become.
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on imagining the lives of others
In my last message, I shared my love for the late singer-songwriter John Prine. What I admire most was his obsession with imagining other people’s experiences and penning lyrics that we could all relate to or feel in some form or another.
For example, in his hit song Angel from Montgomery, Prine said the inspiration came from envisioning a 50-year-old woman standing at her kitchen sink doing the dishes and wishing an angel would take her away from her husband and life to start anew.
I am an old woman
Named after my mother
My old man is another
Child that's grown old
If dreams were thunder
And lightnin' was desire
This old house would've burnt down
A long time ago
Make me an angel
That flies from Montgomery
Make me a poster
Of an old rodeo
Just give me one thing
That I can hold on to
To believe in this livin'
Is just a hard way to go
He wrote that when in his early twenties. Incredible. Imagining what other people are going through is a good practice. Possibly the best. It’s hard to think if we each embraced this habit for even ten minutes a day the world would be a better place. A more understanding and empathetic one.
The young kid walking to school by himself through a rough neighborhood with his head down.
The single mom trying to find her credit card to pay for groceries with a baby in her arms and another child wrapped around her leg.
That elderly man sitting on a park bench with wild hope in his glassy blue eyes.
What have they been through?
What have they seen?
As they lay in bed at night, what do they feel?
Just ten minutes a day.
It's a good way to get out of our heads and into the hearts of others.
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on the beauty of being soft
My kids and I were listening to Nirvana the other day and I immediately began to wonder what Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love's daughter, Frances Bean, was up to and I was blown away by her Instagram post on her 30th birthday —
I made it! Honestly, 20 year old Frances wasn’t sure that was going to happen. At the time, an intrinsic sense of deep self loathing dictated by insecurity, destructive coping mechanisms & more trauma than my body or brain knew how to handle, informed how I saw myself and the world; through a lens of resentment for being brought into a life that seemingly attracted so much chaos and the kind of pain tied to grief that felt inescapable. Then, an event on a plane which brought me closer in proximity to death is ironically the event that catapulted me towards running at this lived experience with radical gratitude. I’m glad to have proven myself wrong & to have found ways to transform pain into knowledge.
There’s a quote by Jaiya John I hold closely, which is — “the softer she became with herself, the softer she became with the world”. It’s a sentiment I try to remember daily.
Entering this new decade I hope to stay soft no matter how hardening the world can feel at times, bask in the present moment with reverence, shower the people I am lucky enough to love with more appreciation than words could ever do justice & hold space to keep learning, so the growth never stops.
I’m happy to be here & I’m happy you’re here too.
I don’t know about you but I love the notion of “staying soft” and France’s takeaway of living each day with radical gratitude for the world and the people in it.
We live in a time of sharp edges.
Go easy.
Be soft on yourself today and every day thereafter.
The better we treat ourselves, the better we treat others.
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That's it for today. Thank you once again for the love of my book. I wouldn't be here without you.
If you've read it and have a second to leave an honest review on Amazon or Goodreads that would mean the world as it really helps. And if you haven't had a chance to pick up the book yet for yourself or a friend, family member, or colleague who struggles to bet on themselves, feel free to click the link below to learn more.
Shy by Design: 12 Timeless Principles to Quietly Stand Out
Loved this book. We often think that being loud means being confident, but what if staying quiet is actually a superpower? This is definitely one of those reads that changes how you look at things.
— Steph via Amazon
Stay soft.
Onwards.
— Michael