“All there is to thinking is seeing something noticeable, which makes you see something you weren't noticing, which makes you see something that isn't even visible."
— Leo Strauss —
Hello and my best to you and yours.
Here are three things I've been thinking about lately that I'm excited to share with you. (4-minute read)
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on embracing boredom
You may have seen some video clips or posts about 'raw-dogging' — where guys get on a flight and do nothing but just be. No movies. No food. No sleep.
I normally shy away from social media trends or challenges, but I love this one. As the dad of two young boys, I hear the words "I'm bored. What should I do?" more often than I'd like. I usually reply by saying — "Boredom is the ultimate luxury. Read something, Do something. Make anything."
But maybe I've got it wrong. Maybe what I should be telling my kids is to enjoy the pain of doing absolutely nothing for ten minutes.
On a recent podcast, best-selling author Mark Manson talked about this very topic and had these profound words to say —
"We've entered a world where boredom tolerance is the new pain tolerance, and having more of it will give you an advantage."
All of this boredom talk reminded me of a study from 2014 in which 70 percent of men and 25 percent of women reported they'd rather receive an electric shock than sit alone with their thoughts in a room for ten to fifteen minutes. In a subsequent study where participants were left unsupervised, over half admitted to looking at their phone or calling a friend — and those were just the honest ones!
Fight to not fall into these percentiles.
Embrace boredom.
Those who have mastered the art of moving slowly in our fast world seem to be doing alright for themselves.
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on ignoring the masses
Fight Club, the David Fincher film based on the Chuck Palahniuk book starring Brad Pitt and Edward Norton, is back in the news as it's celebrating its 25th anniversary.
Given its popularity, I was surprised to learn that the film was initially met with boos and dismissed by many critics when it premiered at the Venice Film Festival. It got so bad that during one particularly scandalous scene, the festival’s organizer got up and left.
But despite the pushback, Norton shared that during the screening, Pitt turned to him in between bouts of laughter and said —
“That’s the best movie I’m ever gonna be in.”
I loved learning this. If you feel like you've made something great, stand by it. Don't let the masses dictate the quality of your work. Maybe it doesn't catch fire like Fight Club eventually did. But maybe it does.
If I've learned anything over the last eight years of writing is sometimes the world needs time to catch on.
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on noticing
I've done a few dozen interviews and workshops with writing circles since my book came out in July. One of the biggest questions I'm asked is how I spot stories worth sharing. My answer is always the same — I view my job as a "noticer."
If something pulls my attention and drives my ADHD brain to stop, it's my responsibility to write it down. After all, if something makes me pause, the odds are good that it will do the same for someone else.
To supplement the stop exercise, every day I write down a quick note around these five simple questions —
- What’s one thing I learned today?
- What’s one memory I thought about?
- What’s one thing I’m proud of?
- What’s one thing I could have done better?
- What’s one way someone helped me?
The beauty of these questions is the longer you stick with them, the more they will teach you how to see. You will naturally look for learning opportunities from your past and present, areas where you can improve, the good in others, and the good inside yourself.
Plus, I think looking for learning opportunities and ways people help us is a good way to approach each day.
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That's it for this week.
And if you're interested, I had a great time getting to know Elle Russ, an absolute powerhouse of a human being who's a best-selling author, award-winning filmmaker, and master coach. We talked a bit about the importance of embracing silence and the importance of putting people at ease.
Feel free to listen here
Onwards.
—Michael
PS: The best way to help me keep the lights on and to keep newsletters like this one free is to grab a copy of my book and leave an honest review on Amazon or Goodreads. It makes for a great gift for any of your shy or reserved friends, colleagues, and family members who have something to say but struggle to bet on themselves.
Shy by Design: 12 Timeless Principles to Quietly Stand Out
“In a world that lionizes loudness, it’s actually the quiet and shy among us who are best set up to thrive. Thompson provides an important new way of understanding what it really takes to stand out!”
— Cal Newport, NYTimes bestselling author of Deep Work and Slow Productivity