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on moving slowly, the things we carry, and a mighty fine gesture
Published 2 months ago • 5 min read
“Don’t let the now destroy the forever.” — Adam Driver (Megalopolis) —
Hello, and my very best to you and yours.
It’s been a few weeks. On short notice, a client visited me for 15 days so we could work on his book together in person. Between that, helping another client in my area with a TED Talk, prepping for my own talk at a design leadership conference next week in Barcelona, and a much-needed trip to the US to see my family, I put my writing on the back burner for a month.
It was good. Normally, I spend 80% of my time working with people online and 20% in person. Flipping these ratios for a month was much-needed and loads of fun.
And on that note, here are three things I’ve been thinking about lately that I’m excited to share with you.
***
on moving slowly When in the US over Easter, my dad told me stories about his time walking the Camino de Santiago some ten years ago. Even though I'd heard about some of these experiences in the past, I loved seeing how much his eyes lit up when recounting them.
But toward the end of our conversation, he shared something he hadn't told me before.
My dad spent his career in the military. If he's known for one thing, it's making a plan and "soldiering on." As a result, when he walked the Camino, he set a goal to complete it in 30 days, and to his surprise, despite bad weather and twisting his ankle on a foreign mountain, he did it in 28 days.
Initially, he was proud of the fact that at 73, he completed it faster than many people half his age. But when talking about his experience this time, he said the following —
"I regret moving so quickly. I wish I'd taken my time. I wish I'd stayed longer in towns that fascinated me. I wish I'd sat in the sun more and just observed people. Looking back, I missed the point — the only person pushing me to move quickly was me."
He went on to advise me to suck in the wonders of life more and to move at a slower pace.
Regardless of your life stage, I thought this was good advice. If our "modern" world has done anything, it's made us feel like we're falling behind if we don't prioritize speed.
But this is ludicrous thinking.
Pick one thing this week and move at a slower-than-usual pace. Activate your senses. Take it all in.
After all, life was meant to be savoured.
***
on the things we carry Over the last few months, I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know Beckett Johnson.
Beckett’s a very cool, sharp, and inspiring guy. Over the last six months, he’s dominated Substack with an arsenal of stories. However, my favorite ones are his reflections on the human experience when working at a grocery store while recovering from a brain injury that nearly cost him his life.
Here’s Beckett —
You don’t expect a grocery list to break your heart. Until it does.
I was filling shelves in the baking aisle, when I noticed her—an elderly woman clutching a handwritten grocery list that looked like it had been folded and unfolded a hundred times.
She kept glancing at it, then at the shelves, then back at it—like the list itself might change if she stared at it long enough.
I asked if she needed help, and she gave a small, tired smile.
“Oh, I do,” she said. “But it’s silly.”
I assured her it wasn’t.
She exhaled and held up the list. “My husband always did the shopping. Always. Fifty-three years. He passed a few months ago, and… I don’t even know where half these things are.”
Her voice wavered at the end, like she wasn’t sure if she should be embarrassed or if it was okay to admit how heavy this moment was.
I smiled gently. “Then let’s find them together.”
So we did.
We went aisle by aisle, checking off each item. She told me little stories as we walked—the way he always got the “wrong” kind of peanut butter, how he swore by a certain brand of pasta, how he used to complain about the price of eggs but always bought them anyway.
At one point, we passed the snack aisle, and she picked up a bag of his favorite pretzels. She turned it over in her hands, hesitated, then put it in the cart.
“That’s silly, isn’t it?” she said.
“No,” I said. “It’s love.”
By the time we reached the last item, she looked at me and sighed.
“Thank you,” she said, softer this time. “I was dreading this. But you made it… easier.”
I nodded. “Anytime.”
And as she walked toward the checkout, I heard her mumble under her breath, half to herself, half to him—“I did it, love.”
Here’s the thing:
We think grief is about what’s gone. But really, it’s about what’s left.
The empty seat at the table. The untouched side of the bed. The grocery list you never had to write before.
Loss isn’t just about missing someone—it’s about learning how to carry what remains.
And sometimes, it’s in the smallest, quietest moments that we realize: we’re still finding our way forward. ❤️
He’s got a knack for not only writing human experience stories but also bringing a bit of fun to personal development writing, which is desperately needed in today’s online landscape.
on a mighty fine gesture My buddy Nik started a new job a few months ago. Despite being a newbie himself, when a new intern was brought into the company, to make them feel welcome, Nik did something that I think is mighty fine.
Like in a lot of places, the new intern received the traditional welcome messages on the company Slack channel. “Welcome!” the majority said. “Have a great start!”
But when the intern was introduced by his manager, he mentioned a little fun fact: he likes Star Wars
And as luck would have it, Nik was wearing his one and only Star Wars t-shirt.
“Should I post a selfie in the welcome thread?” Nik thought to himself. “Or do I stick to something more generic?”
In the end, the fun part of Nik’s brain won over, and he went outside, took a picture, and added it to the welcome thread along with the following message: “I think you’ll like it here, although these might not be the droids you’re looking for…”
When sharing this story, Nik said he had no idea if the photo made the new guy’s day or not. But based on the many emoji reactions he received from his co-workers, a good handful of people at least had a good laugh.
Nik then ended his story by saying, “And you know what? That's good enough for me—because living a life where I choose to send that picture is what it's all about.”
I don’t know about you, but I love this. Going out of your way to make someone feel welcome is a seriously attractive quality.
Nik in all his mighty glory
***
To wrap things up, here's an interview I did that was recently released with the wonderful Jennifer Kahnweileron her podcast Introvert Ally.
Together, we cover a lot of ground —
How curiosity and authenticity fuel connection and success
The importance of building deep relationships rather than broad networks
Overcoming self-doubt and embracing confidence in sales and leadership
Practical strategies for introverts to thrive in networking and public speaking
PS: The best way to help me keep the lights on and to keep newsletters like this one free is to grab a copy of my book and leave an honest review on Amazon.
It makes for a great gift for any of your shy or reserved friends, colleagues, and family members who have something to say but struggle to bet on themselves.
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Join thousands of thoughtful readers for reflections on life, love, and doing work that matters. Storytelling and communication strategist. Fast Co. Forbes. The Blog of Steven Pressfield, Insider, MSN, Apple News. Debut book — Shy by Design: 12 Timeless Principles to Quietly Stand Out — hits bookstores July 16th.
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